Don’t Just Sit There and Take It: Dealing with a Cheating Spouse

Cheating SpouseYou’ve heard tales of cheating spouses before. Some of those stories actually made you laugh; perhaps you even had a suggestion or two as to how you would’ve handled things if your significant other had done it to you. You may have even thought the cheater stupid, unable to hide their infidelity with the wisdom and style you thought you would have practiced had you been in their situation.

But now that you suspect your own spouse of cheating on you, those ideas don’t seem to make any sense at all. You’re at a loss for words and brilliant suggestions because you never thought the emotional burden would be this great.

The Emotional Factor of Infidelity

That’s what most people disregard when the infidelity is not happening to them — the emotional factor. And while the Redditor who live-blogged his investigation of his cheating wife had the presence of mind and the time to do it, you hardly have the strength to get out of bed and face another day thinking that your spouse is hiding something from you.

But get out of bed you must. If your suspicions are true, you’re only some time away from divorce or whichever way you choose to deal with the situation. If you have kids, they need you more than ever because, although ending the marriage may just be the fairest thing you can do for them now, they will still bear the impact of the series of events about to unfold.

Support and Being Real

Don’t do this alone; you need support, emotional, legal or otherwise. Depending on how close you and your spouse are to each other’s family, and depending on how much you care about what they think, you might be tempted to tell them about your suspicions. Before you do that, though, it might be more sensible to call your lawyer. Choose a different lawyer than the one you share with your spouse to avoid conflict. Do this discreetly. Your lawyer may set a meeting for you and private investigators in Colorado, like Advanced Professional Investigations, so you can get solid proof that your spouse is indeed doing a number on you.

If you have your own money, best to take your bank book, credit and debit cards, and ATM cards and keep them in a safe place. Do the same for all your important documents. Your lawyer may be able to provide you a list of what you can take for safekeeping legally. All of this you should do without your spouse noticing.

It is your responsibility to act immediately if you think your spouse is being dishonest, especially if your spouse has a tendency to get physical. Your safety, and the safety of your kids depends on what you do.